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We want to be successful in different ways in life. To have it all. To make a difference. But are we willing to do what it takes? Are we willing to work for it?

In his book, “The power of positive thinking”, Norman Vincent said that “to achieve something, you have to want it enough such that you are willing to do everything to have it helped by the power of your mind and the God given abilities”. Whatever it is, do you want it bad enough?

In my reading, I got interested to know what the mantra of the successful people is, or rather those the world considers successful. Three things stood out:

1. Hard work

2. Believing in self

3. Reading

The lives of these people are about believing in their dreams, working hard towards achieving them and revitalizing their minds with new knowledge. There you have it. That’s the formulae. Most of us however choose to be lazy, to doubt ourselves and our abilities every chance we get and books! We would rather have a home theatre and watch all the movies rather than have a home library and read as many books as we can.

Take the case of a candle and a match box with match sticks in it. For there to be light from these three, someone has to go to the shop, get a candle and a match box then do the work of lighting the candle and boom! There is light. Some work has to be put into it for you and the people around you to enjoy the light. That’s what life is about. It’s about you knowing the difference such little light can make and doing what it takes to bring that light to the world.

Visualize two flowers, a withered one and a flourishing one, which looks beautiful? I’m sure you will say it’s the flourishing one. What’s wrong with the withered one? “It’s withered. It has no life.” – Most of you will say. Now, which flower are you between these 2? Are you the kind that has watered their garden and pruned it to present beauty to the world or are you the kind that has neglected their garden, plucked flowers leaving them to wither, robbing the world the beauty and fragrance of your being?

You need to believe in self and in the value you bring to the world and put in the work to represent such beauty. The beauty the world needs. To be a gift to the world.

The mention of heroism might stir one’s mind towards great acts of bravery like facing danger in battle for a course. But what really is heroism?

Who are heroes?

For movie lovers, heroes are the likes of Spider Man or Super Man. For Christians, Jesus Christ is a hero for dying on the cross for their sins. In the context of Kenya, heroes are the likes of Dedan Kimathi Wachiuri, Jomo Kenyatta, Paul Ngei and all the freedom fighters who vehemently fought for the independence of this nation.

While all this is true, who are every day’s heroes?

The heroes of this world are the parents working tirelessly everyday to feed their children; The men and women in uniform staying out in the cold and under hostile conditions to keep people they don’t even know, like you and me, safe; The teachers and coaches investing their time and skills selflessly to make the learners better.

The true heroes of this world are those who have had a direct impact in your life; Those who help you notice your mistakes and correct them; Those who have walked with you when it’s so dark and when the path is unclear; Those nurses and drivers who have stayed awake at night to watch over you and ferry you safely; Those who have been your source of strength when your world was crumbling down. Those are the true heroes.

One of my heroes is a woman who grew up in such a hostile environment such that she had to fight her way home from school. She got kicked out of college for she was declared academically challenged. At some point in her life, she was clinically depressed and a devastated single mother. This woman made decisions in her life that led her to an abusive relationship. In her words, “this was a little decision to lower my integrity bar, to stay in a relationship where I was not honored, to fall in love with someone else before falling so deeply in love with myself. These little decisions led me to a life that was barely recognizable”. She was bruised, broke and broken.

Something had to be done and she realized that no one is going to rescue her but herself; she became her own rescue. She decided to start making key decisions. Found a way to be proud of herself, forgive herself and commit to herself. Staying connected to this everyday gave her the strength to change her life for herself and her son.

Today, she wears all her scars as badges as she takes pride in being the same woman who is a best seller of seven books, a COO of a multi – million dollar business, has an international brand through which she coaches over 30 million people a year. That woman is Lisa Nichols.

I have known Lisa through her books and videos and every time I listen to her story, I can’t define her as any less. Her story is that of a person who has found herself on the ground being stepped on but made a deliberate big decision to rise and sure, she did. Lisa’s story inspires me to not give in to the bad seasons in life, to not let my past define me, to set my bar so high and be responsible of getting there, to make deliberate big decisions and become the best version of myself, to love myself with all the scars and commit to making me and those around me the best they can be.

Ladies and gentlemen,

A hero is YOU and ME; Those of us who have been tested beyond our strength and still came out strong; Cried ourselves to sleep and still woke up with a smile; Discouraged, despised and written off but still soldiered on; Worked so hard without any gratitude, credit or motivation but didn’t relent; Felt like there was nothing more to live for but never despaired; Were pillars of strength when our friends, family, colleagues, partners couldn’t hold it together; Those of us who said YES, I CAN AND WILL DO IT when every vein in their body was saying NO.

That is a will enough to conquer everything. That, ladies and gentlemen, is heroism.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I AM” are two of the most powerful words, for what comes after shapes your reality. One of Joel Osteen’s greatest quote that icons like Oprah Winfrey testify to have changed their life and I believe changed mine too is, “Whatever follows I AM will come looking for you.”

When I was growing up (I still am), everyone around me, even the closest – family- felt that I would amount to nothing. They constantly rubbed it on my face. It hurt so bad that I became suicidal; there was just no positive talk about me and I wondered what then I lived for. I thank God I didn’t succumb as I wouldn’t have lived to meet the scintillating lady I have grown to become. A lady I made commitment to love and everything changed.

When in high school, my principal said words to me that pierced my heart so deep, “You are Christine’s sister! Christine is such an angel but you, you are quite a devil”. I could not comprehend why a fellow human being could go to an extent of calling me a devil. What was harder for me to comprehend was how my mom sat there and said nothing. In form 3, I agreed to move to a day school – I strongly felt that to them, it was just about enrolling me somewhere, it didn’t matter where. I regained my strength and with a strong belief that “it doesn’t matter where you are but who you are”. I made a decision to thrive from right there.

Upon joining my new school, I made a vow to be the best I could be. I was so determined to make it, not even the environment could stop me. I took leadership roles and ensured I stood out in everything I did. I deliberately became what I call “too relevant to be ignored”. I scored a B Plain from this school and I remember when I received my KCSE results, I felt I had failed only to share with my uncle and do you know what he said? “You, a B? Wow! I thought you would get a C having tried your best”. This is how lowly I was thought of. I stared at him and tears rolled down my cheeks. At this very moment I affirmed that I only had one thing, MYSELF.

Everything changed when I told myself “What is different is what makes me unique and special”. I took charge and stopped feeling bad or apologetic for who I was/am. Instead, I polished it. For the 1^st time in my life, I discovered myself. I began to love myself and exploit the reservoirs of greatness in me. Nothing could stop me then and nothing stops me now from taking every chance I have or creating chances to exploit my limitless potentials.

As Roy T. Bennett said, “Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself”.

Remember, it’s all on YOU; not your environment, family, employer, economy or anyone and anything. No one can rob you of YOU so, make YOU count. Transcend people’s thoughts and definition of you and define YOU. Trust me, what will follow is the surprising opulence of greatness that you possess. Don’t just say it, believe it and stay connected to it and that’s what you become.

Oprah Winfrey said and strongly emphasizes on this, “You don’t become what you want. You become what you believe.”

I believe, “I AM blessed, beautiful, amazing, intelligent, talented, successful, made for greatness, an angel – not a devil – and all the good things you can think of”.

What do you believe?

 

 

Asked who she would love to be in the music industry, she says Beyonce. A young techpreneur desires to be Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerburg. A footballer playing for a local football team wants to be Messie, Ronaldo, Mbappe…..

Why would one wish to go through the trouble of becoming someone else while they can be the one thing no one can be but themselves? Why would I want to be Michelle Obama when I can be the best Wanjiru Kaburu I can be? Why would I wish to be Lisa Nichols and inspire people like she does while I can be the best inspiration in my own unique and special ways? Why not just become THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF?

Let me tell you how.

Quit:

1. Dwelling on your past
2. Giving people too much power
3. Having limited beliefs

We all have a past. Good or bad, it’s in the past. Sadly, most of us live today with the pain, tears, disappointments and frustrations of yesterday. We don’t recognize that the past is gone, that the past belongs to the past and there is nothing we can do about it. We cry over spilt milk and broken glasses and let our past experience ruin our present, our future and hinder our progress. Sometimes, we rejoice so much over our past achievement and forget to work towards better days. In the journey of becoming the best version of yourself, you will need to forgive yourself for your mistakes, learn from them and move on stronger and wiser than you were before. As Joel Osteen says, “let your pain make you better and not bitter”. Let your past success and failure propel you to bigger things. You will need to let go of who you are and have been and welcome the idea of who you can become.

The second mistake most of us make that is a stumbling block to our actualization is giving other people too much power. Les Brown said, “never allow people’s opinions of you form your reality”. The truth is that people will always have something to say no matter what decisions you make and actions you take in your life. You need to realize this and let them be. Don’t let people’s opinions shape your life into their likeness. That’s too much power to give away! Stop wasting your energy and time worrying about what people think about you because what people say is a reflection of them, not you. Look yourself in the mirror and what you tell yourself is all that matters. Make whatever decisions you need to make towards making that person in the mirror better and create your own reality by 1st visualizing it then actualizing it.

The 3rd hindrance towards building the best version of ourselves is Limited Beliefs. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, “You don’t become what you want. You become what you believe”. You may have been brought up in an environment that conditioned you for failure and low self esteem that has followed you to your present. It’s time you noticed these voices and shut them up because the truth is there is nothing you cannot be, nothing you cannot have and no one you cannot be if you believe in yourself. Change your mindset from limited to unlimited. Condition your mind for success and it will be yours. Believe in your power to be the light that shines in the darkness, the flower that is nature’s beauty, a being endowed with everything you need to be and achieve everything you set yourself to achieve.

I have been a victim of these three hindrances. I never lived a day in my life without being controlled by my past mistakes. I cried, hated and condemned myself. This was made worse by the environment I was brought up in. An environment where the closest people in my life made me feel that I was good for nothing. I allowed myself to be a reflection of their projection. Over time, I started wondering what I lived for. I started doubting the reason for my existence. “What’s the need of being alive if I am this hideous, unsightly and disgusting”? What is my problem?” I was too tired and in High School, these were the constant questions on my mind that eventually led to me attempting suicide. Yes! I would be history but today I represent confidence, beauty, positive energy, progressiveness, inspiration, tenacity and zeal to achieve the unimaginable. I call myself intelligent, scintillating, gorgeous, amazing, blessed, an achiever. I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself, “You are beautiful. I love you. I forgive you. I commit to you”.

Getting to this point is however not serendipity. It is a deliberate choice and commitment to grow through it all and achieve it all; To love yourself with all your imperfections; To forgive yourself and live to fight another day; To believe in the reservoir of greatness in you even when no one else does and keep moving; To cry yourself to sleep and still force yourself out of your bed with a smile; To be discouraged, despised and discarded but still walk tall; To fall down, get trampled on, get bruised and broken but still get up, wipe the dust, lift your shoulders high and keep moving. Yes! To face it all but still keep working on yourself.

My challenge to everyone therefore is to make a decision and commit to stop desiring to be Beyonce, Oprah, Obama, Messi, Bill gates or anyone else. To believe in yourself. Own your dream. Be connected to it and be the best version of yourself!

As Lisa Nichols likes putting it, “quit asking for permission to become whoever you were already created to be”. Go ahead and be it. Those who know me know that this woman, Lisa Nichols, inspires me but I don’t want to be her! I want to be THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF.

It has been said that “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” How do you take the tough times you face in life? Do you take them as stumbling blocks or opportunities? Do you let them propel you or stop you? Do you just go through them or grow through them? Your reaction during tough times can make you either thrive or die. Which do you choose?

In my reading of books, journals, magazines and listening to videos of some of the people you might define as successful in the world today, it has become clear to me that they all succeeded from unclear circumstances. When others would have chosen to stop, they chose to keep going. They took each failure as a lesson and an opportunity to work harder and smarter. They took hate and negative criticism as a motivation to move forward. They took crisis as opportunities to offer solutions and in the process built empires.

The power to thrive is therefore within you. It is in the decisions you make every day as you face different occurrences in life. One thing is inevitable though, HARD WORK. Thomas Edison said “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Tough times require one moving against the wave not sitting back and waiting on luck. We forget that what people call luck is a combination of two things: opportunity + preparedness. “I find that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have”, Thomas Jefferson. “There is no luck. It’s simply preparation meeting the moment of opportunity. There is no luck without you being prepared to seize that opportunity”, Oprah Winfrey.

One thing should therefore be clear; that to thrive, you have to work hard. You have to work harder each day than you think you did yesterday. It’s not about being gifted. Successful people succeed on purpose. “The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there”, Vince Lombardi.

In so many success stories I have come across this,”you cannot become what you cannot see or visualize”. It has also been said that the richest place is the cemetery for there lies ideas that were never actualized, dreams that were never lived and potential revolution that the deceased were too weak, afraid or doubtful to bring to life. What this therefore means is that one has to dream, believe in their dream and breathe life into their dream by making a right step every day towards actualizing that dream. This requires more than just believing in the dream but staying connected to it and grounded. Sometimes it requires appearing crazy to everyone out of the fire in you to make it happen. As Steve Jobs once said, “You have to be crazy enough to think you can change the world and go for it”. Those who know Steve Jobs know what that ‘crazy’ resulted to.

“You cannot become what you cannot visualize.” What this means is that you have to imagine yourself as that which your dream is and start working towards getting there. Imagine yourself as a CEO of that great company, as a Cabinet Secretary, as a Tech Mover, as the President, as among the top 10 richest people listed in the Forbes magazine….whatever it is, visualize it. After doing that, develop a routine that will lead you to your dream. Actually, see yourself as already that and this should be a motivation enough to make that visualized future/ that fantasy a reality.

A friend of mine in a short speech at a charity event sometime back said, “some people came into this world to just consume our food and air then die”. Isn’t this sad? Another way of working backwards is visualizing yourself as deceased and ask yourself if you will be resting in peace having lived your purpose and used every opportunity to make yourself and the world better or are you one of the unfortunate cases. After answering yourself this question honestly in the future, start doing those things that will make you rest in peace when you finally do.

Working backwards is a challenge worth taking. Try it and share your experience

Sometimes, actually always, all you need to do is trust God. He is got you even in those very unclear circumstances

Love and differences, which wins?

Somebody said love is stronger than death, may be they were right.  It may be the best feeling one can ever get to experience, when in love it is the love only that matters. It draws you so close to the loved one and one just never wants to let go.  It brings one a feeling that no words can ever describe. Everything else stands still to give way to it. Some of you probably know better so am not going to jolt down all I know about how fine love is. But has anyone ever thought of what differences between the lovers can cost them? Well, I also never thought of it until it happened to me.

As a young lady in campus and making the most out of it, I interacted with different people from all levels within the institution. It is through this that I met this guy and when he talked to me and created some humor, I knew I liked him. Calls followed and every conversation left me with a desire to know this person better. Later an invitation to lunch as a way of visiting and getting to know each other better followed and I just could not say no, “I like him already so why not?” I told myself.

One thing led to another and before long, I wanted to be with him every minute of the day and every step of the way. Of course he had some unpleasant character but I chose to concentrate on the pleasant ones. What I never concentrated on at all was on how different we were and this is the biggest mistake I made.

I fell more in love every day but somehow, we still fought. We were not fighting because we had issues but because we just could not agree on issues and couldn’t understand and respect each others’ way of thinking. We hurt each other so bad and not because we wanted to but because we were just DIFFERENT.  So different that we were together but at the same time worlds apart. Our relationship was a series of breaking up and making up; we broke up because of our differences and because of the love we had for each other, we still made up each time we broke up. This happened until it got the better of us and finally drove us out in the cold.

Every time I reach out to love what is rubbed on my face is the same old story, “you are this, you are that…….i don’t think i can handle…..blah blah blah” . Now, my 2 cents…………… my dreams and ambitions……………………………..something I realized I don’t wanna let go for love. Not ever!

So now I can’t help but wonder each day, what is love really?

SPEECH AT MY GRADUATION CEREMONY, 29^TH MAY 2015

IS IT FATE, DESTINY OR BOTH?

At some point in my life, I faced accusations and condemnation to a point I wasn’t sure I really wanted to continue living. Things have happened in my life ever since I can remember that till this day I cannot fully explain. I have shed tears and given up on myself several times because I could not understand what was happening in my life, so many times I felt nothing good could come out of me and everything around me worked so well together to convince me that. I cannot narrate my whole story here to make everyone understand where am coming from but all am trying to say is that this ESTHER you see here didn’t just happen.  Hold that thought…………………………

Everything changed when I humbled myself enough to say, “May be I am meant to be great from a humble beginning” and made a decision to join a day school, St. Agnes Girls Gaukune in form three.  This left many wondering, including my family members. Others who saw me as a failure may be thought that is where I belonged. This is where I would ask, was it fate or destiny?

When I say I believe in fate, some people think am crazy. Fate has something to do with divinity and the will of God and as a strong believer, I believe when He says that He works in ways we cannot see. That His thinking is not like ours and that his works can never be like ours. It is in this humble institution where it would have seemed like dumping that everything changed. All because one man believed in me,  Mr. Justin Majau. One glance at me and for some reasons which I have never known to date, he put me in a very special category.  Some people (especially from home)always wonder why Justin and I are so close but now you know, May be God took me there to meet this man. Justin was the deputy principal and one thing he never joked about was discipline, in my hands he entrusted so many responsibilities with the faith that I could handle. He saw it in me, greatness……………and I believe this is what am destined for, nothing less. I participated in all the activities that made me grow.  He may also not know the impact he made in my life but in his own ways he sparked my esteem and faith in me with an open mind to what am capable of becoming

It was in light of this that I fought hard to get to the University and found myself at Dedan Kimathi University of Technology which was then Kimathi University College of Technology. A place I could never have thought myself at and taking a course I do not even remember selecting during revision of courses. Fate was again at play, so I thought. A young University with so many challenges but then I was here; I accepted the will of God and decided to walk His path and let Him help me in shaping my destiny. I reminded myself a statement I always made at the assembly at St. Agnes, “It doesn’t matter where you are but what you do where you are”. I chose to focus on the strengths rather than weaknesses, the available resources rather than what was just in my mind from what I heard other institutions have and more importantly, I chose to open my eyes wide enough to see the opportunities and my mind broad enough to exploit them. I developed a love for my University that no one could take away and owned it, some of my friends especially my classmates could have sworn that I was under a spell. Besides my class work, I engaged myself in leadership and church activities as God was and still is the strongest pillar in my life. You have no idea how well that worked for me.

I believed in my University as humble as it was and all the true friends I made both students and staff. That is how I got here, a degree in Bsc. Information Technology second class honors, upper division and better still, formation. Today am a happy and humbled lady as I address all of you and am letting you know that by the grace of God who has brought me this far, this is just the beginning.

Mum and Dad, thank you for everything you have been to me. I am a reflection of you and that means you can only be a master piece, an epitome of strength in my life. My siblings, the best I could ever ask God for………..I LOVE YOU AND FOREVER WILL

The church has been like a home to me. From the hands of priests back in Meru: Fr. Clement, Fr. Mathias Mativo, Fr. Patrick Karani, Fr. James Kinoti, Fr. Benard Kirimi, Fr. Lawrence Mwenda and others who were and still are great friends to me who nurtured me in church leadership and spiritual growth to the hands of my dear chaplain at the University Rev. Fr. Prof Donatus Mathenge who blend his intellect in academia and the bible so well to enhance my spiritual growth while still taking my studies so seriously and embracing the virtues he values so much of ethics, critical thinking and what he calls ‘soft issues’.

To the friends I made at the University, it was your love and warmth that made the four years bearable. You were my brothers and sisters and I will miss you dearly. The University Management, I lack words to express my gratitude. Allow me to mention just a few;  the  dean of students Mr. Mureithi Kaimoe, the chaplain Rev. Fr. Prof. Mathenge, the Public Relations Officer Madam Catherine  and not to mention, all my friends in all the departments who have shaped and impacted my life positively during my University days.  Special thanks to the Vice Chancellor, Prof. P. N Kioni. Your faith in me has inspired me to heights you may never imagine and for this and many other reasons, I will forever be grateful and promise to be the best I can be. Thank you to all of you, for playing different roles in my life in your own ways that have shaped me to the person I am.

I am telling this story to inspire someone somewhere, especially those who have lost faith in themselves for some reasons, I was there!  You may not feel great but I want to be that person who inspires you to greatness.  It was as a result of a few people believing in me that I believed in myself and swore to make the most out of my life each and every day and I desire to do the same to everyone I meet in my own small or big ways; to foster a transformation that many will sit back and wonder how it happened. For I believe that “you can be what you want to be only that you have to want it enough and you have to use the help God gives you to release the powers that lie dormant in you. Through the help of God, through courage, character, manliness and the power of positive thinking you can make your life whatever you want it to be”, Norman Vincent.

THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU

Have you ever felt rejected and forsaken? Well, this one is for you.

Jesus Christ Himself being the son of God and our Savior (for Christians/ believers) felt it too on the cross when He cried “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”. He knew it was not going to be easy but He did not know how hard and painful it was to be either. He endured it all until He felt like all was lost and at some point He broke and burst into a cry to His father in heaven. He could not stay strong anymore. He went through it all and for what? OUR SALVATION

This should be your ATTITUDE when facing suffering; focusing on  the end result/outcome – changing your perspective. You will have tough times, like we all do. You will have friends turning into enemies and crucifying you. You will have the closest people in your life saying “no, we do not know him/her” like Peter – one of the best disciples, betrayed Jesus three times. You will have many attempts with no success. You will have dark and painful moments in your life and feel like all you need to do is take your life. What will you do at such moments? What will you do when it hurts that much? What will you do with the pain? Your ability to bounce back will be determined by your resilience. Resilience is learned; like a muscle, you can build it up and draw on it when you need it. In that process you will figure out who you really are and you just might become the very best version of yourself.

As I was growing up, I had such moments (it doesn’t mean that I still don’t have them, the difference today is that I know how to embrace them). It was so bad that in form 3, I contemplated suicide. At that point I felt like everything and everyone was against me. Like no one understood me. Even the closest felt that I was a disgrace and nothing good could come out of me. I almost broke to the point of death which could have robbed me the joy of experiencing the phenomenal woman I have grown to become – not done yet. What did I do instead? I BOUNCED BACK (read about the 3P’s of bouncing back from this site). I did not know about the 3P’s but somehow I managed out of it. I wore a completely different ‘garment’ which started by making a decision to continue my studies in a day school, starting all over again in a different set-up……(it’s a long story).

What am I saying? Don’t waste the pain. You can choose to come out bitter or better. Defeated and giving up on your dreams or with a new passion & fire. I chose to come out better and fired- up. I chose to let that situation and moment in my life propel me in stead of stopping me. I did not just go through it but grew through it. Sometimes you will have to let go of opinions, friends, family, class/status and many other factors and start all over again to really discover and follow your path. You will also not realize that it was meant to be your path until you are thriving through it. You need to realize that sometimes God will put and keep an enemy and situation in your life to keep you stirred up. Joel Osteen in his 10 rules of success sharing made fun of enemies saying “sometimes I feel like writing my enemies a cheque”. Yes, that’s the feeling I share too. If it were not for some situations and enemies in life, we cannot develop a thick skin and resilience. It’s in the process of proving them wrong that you also discover yourself, you become bigger and better and each day as you surprise them you actually surprise yourself more when you discover that you have amazing reservoirs of greatness within you. Let their opposition keep you moving forward.

When you feel rejected and in pain, look inside you and be strong. Don’t give up. Don’t let your dream die. Try again. Grow through it and no matter how bad it gets, tell yourself that you can and will make it. Say it and stay connected to it. With time you will realize what a hero you are!